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step 1 Don: Hi, Napoleon. Just what do you would past summer again?Napoleon Dynamite: I said! I invested it using my bro when you look at the Alaska search wolverines!Don: Do you capture any?Napoleon Dynamite: Yes, like fifty out of ’em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the deuce is it possible you do in times this way?Don: What type of gun did you have fun with?Napoleon Dynamite: Good freakin’ twelve-determine, exactly what do do you believe?

2 Napoleon Dynamite: [Giving the fresh llama scoops regarding casserole across the barrier] Tina, your lbs lard, already been get some good Dinner!… Tina, consume. Food. Consume your meal!

step 3 Professor: Your current experience, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators towards the bottom out-of River Loch Ness so you’re able to strike Nessie outside of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of your Nessie Alliance summoned the assistance of Scotland’s local wizards so you’re able to throw a protective spell along side river and its own regional residents and all sorts of individuals who seek for this new silent life in our underwater ally.

5 Deb: Preciselywhat are you drawing?Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.Deb: What is actually good liger?Napoleon Dynamite: It’s nearly my favorite creature. It’s such a great lion and you will a tiger mixed… bred for the experience during the secret.

6 Napoleon Dynamite: [speaking about Deb’s milk] We discover you might be sipping 1%. Is the fact ’cause do you consider you will be pounds? ‘End in you are not. You are sipping whole for individuals who wished to.

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8 Brother Rico: What about your girlfriend?Kip: Really, everything is bringing pretty major at this time. I mean, we cam on the web for, including, two hours every single day therefore i guess you might state anything was gettin’ fairly serious.

9 Napoleon Dynamite: Perform the chickens keeps highest talons?Farmer: Create he has just what?Napoleon Dynamite: Large talons.Farmer: I don’t discover a term you just told you.

ten [Napoleon have snuck tator tots outside of the lunch area and you may are eating her or him during classification off their trousers wallet] Randy: Napoleon, offer me some of your own tots.Napoleon Dynamite: Zero, go pick your.Randy: Get real, bring me personally the your tots.Napoleon Dynamite: Zero, I’m freakin’ eager! I didn’t can eat *anything* now.Randy: [Kicks the fresh new wallet to the tots, smashing her or him] Napoleon Dynamite: Ugh! Terrible! Freakin’ idiot!

eleven Napoleon Dynamite: Stay at home and you will eat all the brand new freakin’ chips, Kip.Kip: Napoleon, you shouldn’t be jealous you to I was messaging online which have ladies… *for hours*. And, the two of us know that I am studies become a cage fighter.Napoleon Dynamite: Since when, Kip? You’ve got the bad reactions ever.Kip: Make an effort to struck me, Napoleon.Napoleon Dynamite: Exactly what?Kip: We told you come down right here and watch what will happen for many who make an effort to hit me.

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14 [very first traces] Boy towards the Bus: Preciselywhat are your planning manage today, Napoleon?Napoleon Dynamite: Any I feel such We like to would. Gosh!

15 Cousin Rico: Kip, We think… you know much in the… cyberspace? You ever before pick things… including big date travelling?Kip: Simple, We have currently investigated they to have myself.Brother Rico: Directly on… close to.

16 Napoleon Dynamite: What sort of bike have you got?Pedro: It is a sledgehammer.Napoleon Dynamite: Dang! You have shocks, pegs… lucky! You previously take it off people sweet jumps?Napoleon Dynamite: [Cut to Pedro bouncing] You have got such as for example around three legs of air the period.

19 Napoleon Dynamite: [whenever you are hitch-hiking] So might be you guys including Pedro’s cousins making use of the nice hookups?Cholo Zero. 1: Simon![Mexican slang to own “Hell, yeah!”]

20 Cousin Rico: Just how much you like to build a gamble I will throw good football more them mountains?… Yeah… Coach woulda put myself from inside the fourth quarter, i would’ve been county champions. Surely. Definitely in my mind.

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21 Kip: Therefore when’s grandmother coming back?Brother Rico: I don’t know. Uncertain.Napoleon Dynamite: You don’t have to stand right here around, we are not children.Brother Rico: Ha-ha! Confer with your Auntie Carolyn.Napoleon Dynamite: Kip feels like 32 yrs . old.Kip: Really don’t head for those who stay.

twenty-two Randy: Hi, offer me personally fifty dollars thus i can acquire a pop.Bullied Boy: There isn’t any, Randy.Randy: C’mon, I’ll pay your straight back.Bullied Guy: I don’t have…[Randy grabs him from the right back of shoulder and you may starts pulling up and down inside] Randy: I am going to accomplish that to you…Bullied Man: Cannot! Prevent! Stop! Dont! Ow. Right here, here.[Randy grabs the cash and you can treks away] Napoleon Dynamite: [Napoleon, who’s got become viewing, guides around the kid] How’s your neck?Bullied Boy: Stings.Napoleon Dynamite: That’s as well bad.[Napoleon even offers him a beneficial boondoggle secret-chain] Napoleon Dynamite: Pedro provides you with their protection.[Move second world – the newest bullied son try delivering their bicycle from a rack and you may Randy strolls right up] Randy: Hey, i would ike to borrow the bike.Bullied Son: No.Randy: C’mon, I am going to leave you some chips.Bullied Boy: Zero![It always challenge over the bicycle] Cholo No. step 1, Cholo #2: [drive right up within their lower-driver convertible, that “Choose 4 Pedro” painted into the doorway. This new rider farmers dating site shakes his lead ‘no’ with an intimidating lookup into the their face. Randy gives up and walks from the kid. The newest bullied boy smiles]

23 Kip: LaFawnduh try *the* most sensible thing who’s ever happened certainly to me. I am one hundred% self-confident this woman is my personal true love. Don’t be concerned Napoleon, I am aware there clearly was a girl online for you also. Peace away.

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25 [Kip is actually singing to help you Lafawnduh when they try obvious partner and wife] Kip: Exactly why do you like me personally? Why do you want myself? Always and you will permanently… I satisfied within the good chatroom, now our love is also totally flower… Sure cyberspace is superb, nevertheless, you will be making my drool… I like tech, although not to your, you see… However, We Nevertheless like tech… Always and you can forever. Our very own love is like a group away from doves, traveling doing heaven a lot more than… usually and you may permanently, always and you can forever… So why do need myself? Why do you like me personally? Always and you can forever…

26 Kip: [Napoleon enjoys Kip in the a good sleeper-hold] Ow! Ah geez!Napoleon Dynamite: What the shit was Bro Rico doin’ inside my girlfriend’s home?Kip: Napoleon, release me! I do believe you will be bruisin’ my shoulder meats!Napoleon Dynamite: Good![Napoleon releases Kip] Napoleon Dynamite: What the deuce are you men doin’? Tryin’ so you’re able to destroy my entire life while making myself appear to be a beneficial freakin’ idiot?Kip: I am out makin’ some sweet moola with Buddy Rico. Geez, In my opinion your torn my personal mole away from.Napoleon Dynamite: Used to do?Kip: Yeah, could it possibly be bleeding?Napoleon Dynamite: A bit.

twenty seven Pedro: Do you really believe individuals will vote personally?Napoleon Dynamite: Hell yes! I would vote to you.Pedro: Such exactly what are my personal event?Napoleon Dynamite: Better, you have got a sweet bike. And you are really good on connecting having girls. Together with you might be for instance the simply son at school who’s got an excellent mustache.